Wednesday, October 23, 2013

a question...

it's always been here,
this yard of mine.

i used to mow it when i had little kids.
i mowed with my youngest on my back.
i used a push mower that had no power but me.
i pushed and chatted to my son as he rode along on my shoulders.
i pushed and sweated, and mowed and mowed.

i look back at that and shake my head.
i certainly did what i needed to do.

but that's the thing...that's what i was doing.
i was mowing a yard that needed mowing.

and then my sons got big and took over the job.
i didn't do it again for years.
and i didn't miss it at all.

and now.....something's happening that i didn't expect.
my yard has become my therapy.

i don't mow because the yard needs mowing.
well.......i do.
but i don't.

i mow now to go out and have some space to think.
i rake to move the energy inside me and clear some gunk from my insides.
i clean my gutters to center myself.

i enter my yard and enter myself.

at the same time, the upkeep of the place -
the physical movement and also the taking care of the place-
that all seems to be a huge part of it. it seems to be what lets the magic in.

it's happening enough i've noticed.
enough now that i know to head out there when i need some clearing.
to head out when i need to think thru things.
to head out when i need to get let go and remember what it is to truly live.

as i walked across my yard last nite, in the dark,
i knew it was becoming a truly special place for me.

and here's the point of this whole thing -
it's always been there.
just waiting for me.
just waiting for me to notice.

just waiting for me to claim it.

i have a feeling there's a lotta things like that in life.
and i wanted to mention that.
what is it in your own life that is just waiting for you to claim it?
what else in my life is waiting for me?
i find that an exciting question.....


Diane in AR said...

It is exciting - knowing it was always there - that special place that you KNEW was there, but that had more in store for you - love that your yard, your "empty" nest is truly embracing you, encouraging you to think, to feel, to reason, to be. . .who knows what's next!!! Joyful!!!

terri st. cloud said...

joyful! thanks, diane!

Camille Olivia said...

yep. looks like Diane hit the nail on the head. brava, miz ter! brava for all that you are!