Tuesday, March 18, 2014

a spring plan

'i didn't even know i was mad.' she said.
'i was painting and i could feel it and i said 'ohh you're really mad.'
but i didn't know til i was painting.'

she's one of my favorite people in the world.
one of those people you don't have to explain your thinking to.
she just gets it.
and we sound alike so often it makes me laugh.

i told her i had just had something i didn't realize i was carrying either.
and it came out and i was surprised i didn't know about it til it showed up.

i had been wondering how on earth i was sposed to work on stuff inside me
if i didn't know it was there.

it was in hearing her story, i realized -
maybe sometimes the approach just can't be 'okay, this is in me, and i'm gonna go
work with that.'
cause obviously, you can't do that if you don't know it's there.

so maybe we need to make a practice of creating space for things to come out.

her hidden feelings came out as she painted.
mine came out as i puttered around with my house.
both of us were just relaxing, enjoying, opening, being present.

and ta da!

it's nice timing to have this thought.
spring is just about here.
it will be time to just go be out in the yard and putter.
seems to me a great place to make space for whatever's inside
to come on out.

it just happened to both of us.
neither of us deliberately did anything.

but what if i were more mindful?
what if i went outside with the idea of -
yeah, i'm gonna do yardwork, but not really.
that's just the excuse.
i'm gonna go invite whatever wants to whisper,
to go ahead and whisper.
and if it's quiet, well, that's fine, i'll do yardwork.
whatever works.

seems like i'd be creating more space,
practicing more mindfulness,
and accepting my process even more.

welcome spring!

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