a re-start

i did it again.

i keep thinking about being more aware,
paying more attention,
listening closer,
not just assuming -

and then -
i went ahead and 'put something' on someone.
i figured they worked like i did.

and so i assumed they needed something that they didn't need.

and then, after kinda getting hit between the eyes,
i saw that they didn't need what i thought they did.

oh for pete's sakes.

i got kinda ticked at myself.
wondering how many times i'd repeat the same mistakes...

but then i stopped myself and said 'okay, well you got that wrong.
instead of telling yourself how stupid you are, and battering yourself about
and instead of making up a new wrong thing about this person,
how about you try to really see - see yourself, and see them.

and ahem.
ahem.
i have to admit...

this is progress.

because my pattern then is to go and assume a new wrong thing.
and yes, to beat myself up a whole lot in the process.

i think i saw, and am listening now.

so that's a good thing.

and here - this part is prolly a good thing too -
well, at least to REALIZE i do this -

i think what trips me up a gazillion times over is the assuming people
are working like i am.

if i just put that down, and don't assume ANYTHING,
and watch - and ASK - and listen -

well, seems like it's a good start to a good plan.

making a mental note of that today,
and starting all over once again.