i remember something i used to tell my kids.
when they were overtired and yet had something to think thru,
i'd tell them not to worry about it til they rested a bit.
not to figure life out when they were in a worn out spot.
but rather, just put it on a shelf and get some rest,
then deal with it.
i had told them this as i had learned the hard way of trying to
figure out things too many times when i wasn't in the place to do so.
i was always sincere when i said it.
altho, at times it looked like i was just putting them off.
well, i found myself overtired and tryin' hard to put things together
that i just couldn't put together.
and i remembered that advice i used to hand out.
and so i took it.
i told myself to just put what was bothering me on the shelf.
i mostly did.
i mean, it'd come up and enter my brain,
but then i'd put it down again.
sometimes i'd cry first.
cause, believe me, i was way overtired.
as i mowed the lawn today
reasonable thoughts landed into my brain.
where'd they come from?
and i realized -
it was like i had cleared a space for them,
and just let them come to me when i was ready.
just like i used to tell the kids.
sometimes i said some good things as a mom.
and it's comin' in handy as i learn to mother myself.