sigh

i saw something today that made me stop, cry, and walk away from my computer.

someone i know who posts loving things on my facebook wall
posted a vid on someone else's wall of a man shooting off rockets or some kinda killing stuff
and then that very man got hit and blown up. it was a real life thing.

he and all the people he shared it with were pleased he was killed.

i was stunned.

it was one of those weird facebook things where it wasn't something i would
normally see, but because of the way facebook works, there it was in my home feed.

i read the comments with such sadness.
and i walked away.

i thought about how complicated we are.

the man who posted it is a good man.
he has a good heart.
and yet at that moment he horrified me.

i have been thinking a lot about how we don't listen to each other.
how we don't see each other.
how we don't try to open up to each other's worlds.

that came to mind.
because all i wanted to do was close the door on this.
close the door on these people.

but what was so helpful was i knew he was a good guy.
and i knew just writing off all the people who had left ugly comments as haters
was way too shallow.

and yeah, they were hating on someone who was killing others.
that's something i can understand.
i know that feeling.

what an interesting circle right there in front of me.

for me one of the most significant bone sighs i've ever written was
'strength lies in the opening of the heart.'

it constantly amazes me how hard it is to honestly and truly open.
now i think such a part of that difficulty comes in the trying to
honestly and sincerely see each other and listen to each other.

when i stopped and tried to listen and see what i had heard
it was such pain in so many directions that it was too much to hold.
from the vid, to the posting to the comments.

such pain.

all i could come up with to do was to not add one more drop to it.

i find that something huge to think about today.