the arms of the sky

it has been an unusual week around here.

i woke up sick on monday.
cried a lot as i had plans i was really looking forward to that i knew i'd miss.
i was sorely disappointed.

tuesday i pulled it together, and worked and napped and worked and napped.

wednesday i worked a bit more, didn't nap, but rested. and plugged away on things.

today still finds me slow.

but each day is better.

i've been about as isolated as i've ever been.
been stayin' away from my family as i didn't want to infect them.
a few visits thru the window and a few quick chats on the phone.
but mostly all on my own.

while i enjoy time on my own, this has been the quietest i've ever been, i think.

and i'm starting to wonder if i'm goin' a little bit soft in the head,
or if i've finally stepped into it - stepped into the quiet.

i fought it a lot at first.
but not today.

i was packing an order listening to a song.
and she sang about being in the 'arms of the ocean' -
it made me pause.
cause i was beginning to feel like i was in the arms of the sky.
i was beginning to feel something with all the quiet around m.

it's not really something you can talk about, ya know?
how you doin' terri?
oh much better today - been feelin' like i'm in the arms of the sky today.

doesn't really work, ya know?
but it works in music.
you can say stuff like that in songs.
and as i listened, i tried to open to the feeling.

i looked out the window at the clouds movin' across the sky.
felt like i was part of it.
felt really awesome.

then i goofed up on something small.
something that didn't matter.
and i cried.

okay.
so i don't have my full strength back yet.
and yeah, i'm prolly a little soft in the head.
and it's taken me half the week to stop fighting life.
but in between it all, i remembered- i can rest in the arms of the sky.

and that feels good.......