untangling and showing up......

a friend was helping me out with something i was struggling with -

and the bottom line message of their help was this -

who we are is our gift.

when we offer ourselves, we're offering our gift.

when we shut down, close up, try to act differently,

we're not offering the gift of who we are.

and everyone loses.

including ourselves.

sigh.

you can't really argue that, can ya?

at least i couldn't.

i guess the arguments are around that -

like who you choose to offer that gift to,

or when you choose to stop offering it.

i wanted to include 'or the fact that the other person isn't offering

their gift.' - but i can't include that. 

cause we really can't look at that.

that part isn't ours.

we can only look at what is our own.

what motivates us to offer it in the first place?

for me, that's a great question.

am i looking to get back?

am i looking to have that gift treasured?

am i looking for the others involved to offer the same?

am i doing it because i want to be me in all interactions?

are there times i just don't want to bother?

what makes for those times?

i think all good stuff to look at and wonder about with our interactions.

we can't hide who we are.

or yeah, i guess we can.

but it depends on what the ultimate goal is.

and i guess one of my ultimates certainly whirls around authenticity.

sigh.

so while i think it would be way easier to just run and hide a whole lotta times,

or yeah - show up and hide -

that's a big one, huh?

show up and pretend and fake who i am -

i don't want to do that.

i had a life time of that.

i don't want to do that anymore.

and so, if i choose to show up, it's me i gotta offer.

whew.

thank goodness for friends who help us untangle and get back in 

the ring of life......