coffee shop thoughts

there's nothing like working in a coffee shop to keep yourself entertained.

sitting here trying to add up numbers, i couldn't help overhearing a young woman nearby.
for some reason, her voice really carried.
and i found myself grinning over and over by the snippets i'd hear.

but it was this little bit that made me pull out the laptop to write the blog -

i heard her say 'i'm getting old.'

that made my 53 year old eyebrows raise.
because the next line was 'i'm 24.'

and she was serious.

wow.
this really hit me as i was greatly saddened yesterday by the state of my
elderly neighbor. and by elderly, i really mean elderly - not someone in their 30's.

i heard the old twenty four year old talk about how life was tough.
and i wondered if she really did know that.
she might.
i understood that.
some 8 years olds know more than i do about how tough the world is.
life seems to feel free to teach anyone that, no matter what age.
so i thought maybe she understood.

i heard her ask 'cancer?' and i thought - okay, yeah, she does know.

and then i heard 'leo.'

and i laughed.

and i hoped she really didn't know life was tough.
i hoped life was full of astrology signs for her right now.
there's no need to rush the lesson.

yesterday as i walked back inside after trying to help my elderly neighbor,
and ending up doing nothing but frustrating each of us,
i thought how life could be so cruel.

'cruel' was the word i thought.
it was definitely beyond tough.

i don't feel like this is the woman i've known for years.
she feels gone.
and someone really just not nice has walked in and taken over.
and is torturing everyone.

and i know this happens over and over and over every day all over the place.

and i don't like it.
not at all.

i think back to the days when life was about astrology signs for me.
gosh, i looked at life so differently.

i honestly wish everyone could have that 'astrology' time in their life.
and i know some kids never get it.
they know life is cruel really early.

i didn't find out til later. and i'm kinda glad about that.
cause it gave me time to see that life is beautiful as well.
i was lucky. i got that.

now i spend my time trying to figure out how to hold the mix,
and to trust it, and to know there's magic in it all.

i stumble a lot.
like yesterday after dealing with my elderly neighbor.
but then i hear this young woman's voice, and i remember again.

life is a mix.
and i'm so glad i'm in it.