my little guidebook....

been thinking about how i have a philosophy i use in my life these days.
like a little guide book.
well,when i remember to pull it out of my pocket, that is.
sometimes i forget it's in there.
i sit on it and just ignore it.
but a lotta times i use it.

and it's occurring to me that not everyone is that lucky to have one -
a philosophy to live by.
to grow by.
to strive towards.
that sometimes it's not thought about at all.
there is no guidebook.

and then.....it's all over and there's no need for one anymore.

i've been feeling really lucky i have one.
i don't remember ever thinking about it from quite this angle before.

it's not a guidebook with all the answers.
not one of those.
there's a fair amount of people who have those.
and i'm not sure they guide a whole lot of honest growing.
i don't know.
but i'm not interested in those.
altho, at times, i will admit, it looks nice to have.
but only for a moment.
and i realize that i really do like this stuff that guides me.

i started to type that i don't know how i got it.
but my gosh, that's so not true.
i know exactly how i got one.
and it hasn't been easy gettin'.
and i'm pretty sure it will be one of those fluid things for the rest of my life,
one of those things that takes on different shapes and thoughts.
i guess that's the nature of something that doesn't have all the answers.

i'll take it.
with gratitude, i'll take it.
and feel very lucky to have it.

now, it has occurred to me that if i've got this thing i believe in -
if i'm lucky enough to have it -
well then, i need to be brave enough to live it.
to really live it.

i like that thought a lot.

it's the step beyond feeling lucky and grateful -
it's the honoring of the whole thing by living it.

i don't get forever, right?
so like um.....better keep this thing outta my pockets!