thinking

living fully has been in the forefront of my mind since sunday morning.

checking in over and over, i ask myself if i'm living fully,
am i being who i want to be?

i know this obsession won't last very long, but it's been really good.
i'm embracing it while it's here.
my awareness has been so heightened and i have enjoyed
watching, looking and pondering on what living fully means to me.

do you think it's different for everyone?
or do we all have the same answer?
is it really just about being present with whatever is happening?
it is for me, and i just wonder if that's a universal answer that's down deep
at the bottom of everything.

seems like it would have to be.
but i get that way.
if it's right for me, i get stuck on that and think it's right for everyone.
and that's something i need to watch.

so....i'll just leave it at i have no idea,
but this is right for me.
the being present in the moment.

today i saw a photo of someone i used to know in high school.
her looks definitely seemed to portray her inner struggle with life.
i noticed and thought about that....

i want my looks to portray light and love.
you don't just get that.
you gotta keep opening to it, i would think.

and that seemed to tie right in to being fully present.
cause as i'm trying to be present, i keep thinking that i want to be loving,
i want to be open. open to this moment, terri. be loving in this moment.

they totally tie together.

i wanna get this stuff down so well that it shines right outta my eyes.

and.....oh man.........that's where the big sigh comes in.
i remember just this morning wanting to punch someone in the face.
laughing here.
okay, probably not really.
but the thought felt good.
and well....if i keep that kinda thinking up,
just imagine what my face will look like as i age!

grinning......and putting my boxing gloves down.

this is a life long process tho....and every now and then those
boxing gloves sure seem tempting.

i'll just keep working at it.
and hope that i can keep at least a little bit of this awareness
as i go along.......