Wednesday, May 27, 2015

messy paint, messy life

facebook is a great place to witness righteousness.

it's terrific for support, and kindness, and thoughtfulness........
and righteousness.

my gosh.

usually when i bump into it,
i roll my eyes or get annoyed or walk away shaking my head.

today i think i did all three.
and i walked away to go paint a wall.
as i painted i thought about it.

i wanted to make a meme that said something obnoxious.
well, that's not too helpful, i told myself.
and i thought about how the simple minded - know it all - memes make me crazy,
so why would i make one?

so i decided to get beyond my simple minded reaction and think about it.

and i realized that i couldn't think of a time where i witnessed righteousness
and love mixed together.

i'm not saying there isn't.
i'm saying i couldn't think of one.

so going on the premise that all things are either love or fear,
i realized how fearful righteousness is.

why? i wondered.

and as i thought about it, and recalled different instances of it,
it seemed like the righteousness was a fearful way for people to hold on
to worlds that felt safe to them. it was easier to just have the answers
and be all clean and tidy and locked up and 'safe.'

i thought of the examples that i had seen lately.
and suddenly, instead of annoyance, i felt compassion.
how hard it would be to have to hang on to your world so tightly.

i looked at the paint splattered all over me.
i can't even paint tidy.
no wonder i don't have tidy answers for my life.
but i guess i really like it that way.
both with the paint and my life.

i don't think there are any simple answers ever to living -
unless you boil it all down to 'just love.'
and we all know, there ain't nothin' simple about that.

so if you're looking for that simple answer,
if you're feeling like you've got it and you're feeling righteous,
maybe it'd be a good time to stop and see if what you're
really feeling is some kinda fear.

i'm pretty sure we gotta put that down to let the love in.


Welles said...

Righteousness is one side of a coin. Self importance is the other. Same coin, different faces.

♥ Welles

terri st. cloud said...

ooooh welles....both sides sound filled with fear to me! let's toss that coin
in the ocean! :)

margy said...

Hey Terri - thanks yet again for a very thought-provoking message. I go to a wonderful adult Sunday School class and we never end up where we start out because of many questioning members who feel free & accepted enough to put voice to their thoughts. I was talking to a friend about my thoughts about faith within organized religion - she is a staunch (sp?) believer of a particular church and looked at me and more or less said that I was going to eternal damnation because I was questioning beliefs she held firm to. Thanks for the thought of righteousness being a fearful way for people to hold on to worlds that felt safe to them so that there are clean and tidy answers. Long (sorry) story short - changing the annoyance to compassion and understanding was a wonderful revelation for me to ponder. Thanks and keep up that fun and messy painting!

terri st. cloud said...

hey, lady. easier said than done, ya know? if someone did that to me i'd struggle with finding the compassion. but i honestly think that's what's needed. there's not much you can say to someone so locked up. and how sad is that when there's really no point in explaining something to someone. definitely a place for compassion. i'm sorry you experienced that, margy. you don't deserve it. but then again, it wasn't about you at all. hope you know that! :)

diane in ar said...

I agree with what you wrote - it is a sign of fear. . .not pleasant to deal with - love your thought process of painting. . . and living - you share so much with us, give us much to think about. . .