Thursday, May 21, 2015

shedding past lives

there has been major house upheaval around here.
makin' room for that guy of mine to move on in!
yes! it's great news. and i'm quite tickled.

and in cleaning out i keep coming face to face with
the different worlds my one life time has held so far.

i've been kinda puzzled with it all.

how they feel so far away.
like they weren't even mine.

i have a couple friends i went to high school with.
they loved that time and would go back in a heartbeat.
they talk about it with great exuberance.

i can barely remember any of it
i would never go back.
and it doesn't feel like i was ever there.
i have memories that make me laugh or groan or cringe.
but that's it.

that's just one example of many different life times.

and what i'm finding interesting is that except for when my sons were little,
i'm not sentimental about any of it.

i have some good memories from each 'lifetime' and i cherish the good
that came from those times....but that's it.

so when i pick up an item from a past life,
i find myself detached and not at all concerned with hanging on to it.

i think that's probably good.
i think it means i'm happy where i am
and i want to keep going forward.

i feel good about all that.
yet, at the same time, i feel odd.

it's like being older. we all know the feeling -
we know we're a certain amount of years on the outside,
but on the inside, it really doesn't compute that we're anything
besides 16 or whatever the age is.

it's kinda like that.
i know i had these past lives and i have memories from them.
but it doesn't compute that it was really me.

it's been at least a month now of this happening to me as i clean.
bumping up to the past, marveling that i really lived that life,
and feeling like it's so far removed from me that i barely recognize it.

how odd.
and how wonderful.
how wonderful we all get all these lives packed into one!
and how wonderful to shed them and keep on moving forward.

i think i really like this.......

1 comment:

diane in ar said...

smiling with you. . .