Monday, June 15, 2015

a reminder

sometimes there are phrases or sentences or even just words
that someone will say while talking to me,
and without them even realizing it,
the world inside my head stops a moment
and something inside me reaches out
and catches those words in mid air.

this happened the other day with these words -

'it may not be what you want, but it's what you got.'


i never know what it will be or when.
but something happens inside me.
and it truly is like everything stopping
and something being caught and tucked away inside my mind.

i have said many many times to friends in tough places
things like - 'okay, this is what's been dealt, and we gotta
figure out what we're doing with it.'

so i think the fact that i say that kinda thing shows i think
in that fashion. maybe that's what sparks the echo of someone
else's words. it hits on how i think and speaks so directly
to me i have to turn my face to it.

i really like the thought.
sometimes you can change something.
and i'm all in favor of changing things for the better.
but sometimes they're not yours to change.
and it may not be what you wanted,
but it's what you got.

and i think when you realize that,
you can move forward.

at least for me, i tend to wallow.
and if something isn't like i want,
i wallow about that.
and if i can't change it,
i wallow with extra wallowiness.

i get stuck on the fact that it's not what i wanted.
and then kinda remain in a stuck holding pattern.

if you stay there, you end up being a victim.

if you move forward, you're doing just that - moving forward.
and that's what i want. these words help me get unstuck.

in thinking about this, i realized it can fit for anything from these darn ants
that keep invading my house, to serious grief over a loss.

it may not be what you want, but it's what you got.

then you figure out what you wanna do with that.

of course.
we all knew that.
it's just that i forget way too often.
and need the reminder.

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