relationships

ya know, i'm not exactly sure what i think of 'relationships.'
i'm in one.
and i'm grateful for it.
BUT ya know that one sentence you hear all the time about them...??
you know the one.....'it's a lotta work.' THAT ONE.
shoot.
they aren't kidding.

driving down the road last nite i honestly understood why women
choose to date women!! it seems like it has got to be easier.
okay.
grin.
don't shoot me.
i know they ALL have their complications.

but just the idea of the mars/venus brains can send me over
the edge.......

things that are so incredibly obvious to me, are seen as totally
different matters to him....
approaches, thought processes, all that stuff......it's ALL
so different.

i KNEW it was a lot of work to have a relationship....i was
married for 20 years. i thought i did work then....but not enough.
knowing it wasn't enough, i work way way harder now...

and i find it exhausting sometimes.

and it's when i hit these times....when the frustration hits the
ceiling, when it hits so hard that i just don't even want to solve
the problem....those times...

if i can step just a little bit aside...and look at it from the side,
i see this is the best thing in the world for me.

to love someone so different than i am....to love someone so much
that i trust him even when he's a tremendous clod...
this is stretching me.

my sweet cloddish neanderthal is stretching me.

sigh.

honestly, i had NO idea how much work relationships are.

and i'm not sure what i think of them....
i see them as incredible, amazing, fulfilling, frustrating,
crazy, draining, exhilirating, maddening, saddening, joyful,
scary,wonderful things.......

nobody told me this when i was growing up!!!