facades and prison bars

i got fascinated with something last nite.
not sure what the right word is.
'secrets' maybe.
'facades' maybe.
deception....maybe that's the word!

i was thnking about someone i know who has spent her
whole life trying to show the world she is happy, kind,
and loving. all the while covering with incredible skill
her sadness, anger, resentment, and selfishness.

the skill involved in the cover up....even to herself...
the surprise when someone figures it out...and the fact
that she will prolly never ever admit it to herself...
has all fascinated me.

there's reasons for it all, and cycles that feed each other,
and all kindsa interesting, sad stuff.

the fooling of ourselves and others.
we all do it. just different degrees.
when i see it in the extreme, i stop and look.

right now there's two cases of the extreme in front of my
eyes. and both cases create such prisons and pain.
they're extreme.
but the prisons and pain come in all degrees to all of us...

i see their obvious deceptions in front of my face and shake
my head with sadness. it is in mid shake, however, that i stop
and wonder about myself....

what prisons and pain are self inflicted?
hmmmm.....
would that be most of them?
would that be ALL of them???

something to definitely think about today.
next time i see a prison bar go up in front of my eyes......
i'm gonna hold it in my hands and claim it as my creation.
and then if i can flex my muscles a bit.....
maybe, just maybe, i can twist it in a knot,
toss it to the side....and let it rust without me.....