she calls me tess.
her friends call me tess now.
if i hear that name from someone,
i know how they're connected in my life.
she and i used to have such a deep, close
connection. i told her things i don't think
i've ever told anyone else....
we shared things that i've never shared with
anyone else....
we knew fear together really well......and we
knew laughter in the middle of that fear.
that's one of my favorite things.
when it just didn't look like it could be much
worse, something would make us laugh. usually
something dumb that i was doin' in the middle
of a crisis.....makes me laugh just remembering.
i mostly feel like we just won't ever have
that connection again...that life took us away
from each other in that way....
but today...on the phone....she told me about
an emergency she had and she said 'all i could
think of was you, tess.'
i cried when she said it.
the tears were gratitude......
that connection isn't lost.
it can't be.
it may feel kinda faint at times, but in the
deep parts...it is still so way there......
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