i'm fine right now.

well......
i can't figure it out.

a few months ago i was pretty edgy about
my finances....the boys all on my case,
tellin me to trust. i saw i was pretty scared.

somehow, i got back there...into the trust...
and i've been good lately. know we'll make it.

and then i heard myself talkin' to a close buddy.
he had called to check in....when i asked him how
he was he said 'fine, right now.'

and i burst out laughing. told him i needed to
remember that answer!

he went on to relay his nervousness with the
economy and how it's affecting him.....

so we shared stories....

up until that point, i hadn't figured out where
i was....
i described it to him this way....

'i knew we'd be tight this month, but you know, i just
expected really small checks to be coming in.' and then
i started laughing and said...'i never expected them
to just NOT come in at all~!'

and i honestly just laughed and laughed.
even he laughed....after he groaned.

told him my eyebrows have been up with every mail
delivery. they've been up in surprise there's no checks.
and they haven't come down yet!!!

and i laughed some more.

i tried to check in with myself........
am i out of my mind?
am i hiding my fear?
am i just at a new level of panic??

and you know, i'm not.

they'll come in. i'm really not worried.
and i can't figure out why. by all rights,
i should be worried....

but you know.....i gotta make it work.
it's gotta work. it will work.

and i sit back once again.
bone sighs have from day one taken me to a new
level of belief and faith.
yes.....it's been shaken and i've been scared...
but there's something different about bone sighs...
i believe in the lessons they teach me.
about followin' my heart and offering and knowing...
with bone sighs, there's a sense of knowing.

it's to that sense of knowing i want to go to today.
with my whole life...with all the parts of it....

because it's the same thing......
the same lessons......
follow your heart, offer yourself, and feel the
knowing.....

if i can do it in one area of my life....
why not all??

here we go........