life is abundant

the more i step back into the cosmic,
the more cosmic i see....

i used to operate so much on the knowing
and getting 'affirmations from the universe'
at every turn.

how i could let that slip away is beyond
me, and how it could be so hard to step
back into, makes no sense.

but each day i hear myself saying 'i'm
back, i'm really coming back!' and it thrills
me.

today was like the old days....the beginning
days of bone sighs....the diggin' in and asking
myself what i really believed, followin' that,
and then gettin' an affirmation somewhere along
the line.

i had several opportunities to support different
artists/gallery owners...and i'm pleased to say
i did it.

that's not the point of this post, and i wouldn't
even put it out there, if it wasn't for the
whole cosmic message....

there were three times today that i made an effort,
and each time, it really was an effort as there
was that naggin' in the back of my head that maybe
i shouldn't.

you know, that practical, worldly voice that cautions
and advises against the heart moves.

each time i pushed it back, and did what my heart
knew was right.

at the last stop i found myself in that runnin'
argument i've been havin' lately....
you are truly poor if you can't support others, ter....
don't act poor.

on the way home i thought about it....
it's a hard time for everyone right now. these
artists are hurting and this is how they make their
livelihood. if we stop being generous with each other,
than we're all sunk and we've lost everything.
what we need now more than anything is generosity
and the spirit of giving.

and i settled into the knowing that things are okay.

that used to happen to me a lot. the struggle, and
the eventual coming to the peace of my decisions.
but what always used to happen afterwards happened
this time too!
and i had forgotten this part!

i got home to a nice web site order. that always
feels good. ahhhh.
and then.....a shop owner emailed with the subject
line of 'whoosh.'
said it was another weekend of 'bonesigh whooshhhh!'
she's callin' tomorrow to place a refill order.

her and i have seen good times and lean times together.
and here's a direct quote from her note:
"next weekend is the start of all our autumn festivals
and we'll be on a roll until january.'

i smiled when i read that.
sat back in my chair and felt that ol' cosmic feelin'
i used to feel all the time.

there was my affirmation from the universe.

right there.

it was such a huge day for me........
i think i took that last step on into the flow.
i'm really feelin' back....

and the generosity thing? it's way important.
i can't lose that. no matter what happens...
we've got to be able to give to each other,
ya know?

it matters.

i feel like the universe just reminded me,
big time......

there's enough always...life is abundant.