guilt ridden rats or just feeling guilty?

a friend sent me this great article about
stepping aside from our feelings and understanding
that we are not the feelings. that we are
HAVING the feelings.

big difference.
the main thing being that we don't identify
ourselves with that feeling...we don't become
that feeling.

instead of being weak, we are feeling weakness.
instead of being a scaredy cat, we are feeling fear.

that kinda thing.
we can look more objectively at it and see what's
causing the feelings. that kinda thing.

handed it to my guy to read this weekend. he did so
and promptly launched into some of my recent feelings
to help me sort thru it.

at one point i exclaimed "i know it!' a bit impatiently
when he was pointing it out to me.

i have to laugh.
the poor guy.
he's just tryin' to help.

i got the point. that's not the problem.
it was LIVING the point that i was having a hard time
with.

so it's been on my mind.

i tried it out on my walk this morning.

i am feeling guilt.
not....i am a guilt ridden rat.

grin.
grin.
grin.

okay.
so maybe i am a guilt ridden rat.

grin.

okay.
i'm not.
i'm not.

but i feel like one.

okay.
ter.
you're not doin' so well here.

you are feelin' guilt.
oh yeah.

what caused that?

and then i went from there....

it actually helped.

but you know what's interesting?
it's hard to drop the guilt ridden rat stuff.
why?
well, my counselors used to tell me things that
were hard to drop were serving a purpose. i was
getting something out of them.

ah.
it's all so interesting, huh?

i'm not a confused guilt ridden rat.
i'm feeling confusion.
i'm a guilt ridden rat who's feeling confusion.

grin.
dysfunction can have it's fun moments.