she stopped by real quick with a present for me!
i love presents.
just love them!
and she had one in her hand.
close your eyes and put out your hands.
oh yes.
i love this stuff.
and so i did.....
she gifted me with the coolest necklace...
on the back of it, it has the words
'let me listen to me, and not to them.'
oh ho ho ho ho.
oh ho.
ho.
woe.
i love it.
i squealed and hugged her.
and i've worn it all evening.....
she knows how much i need that reminder.
which made it extra special.
i think she had originally gotten it for
herself, and yet she gave it to me...
add extra to that extra special...
i told her that i figured out that i was
freakin' out over middle age.
she immediately launched into all these
helpful thoughts.
suggested some things for me to think on
during my walks....
and as we talked i realized....
it was really clear.
all the sickness and hard stuff i'm watching
right now.....
i'm filled with fear about the future.
she talked of all that i had ahead of me....
and i realized that i've been scared because
i've been thinking pain stuff.
scary stuff.
i haven't been filling my future with good
things in my head.....
i saw it really clearly.
i've been filling it with fear stuff.
told her.
she stopped.
her eyes got big.
oh.
that's not good.
i grinned.
yeah.
i know.
but i hadn't really known i was doing it.
and so.....i have some work to do.
some walks to take.
some thoughts to think.
my first thought is how incredibly cool women
are. there was a comment on the middle age stuff
earlier that made me smile and appreciate women...
(thanks, mary) and then there's my necklace friend....
both very wise women.
my world is filled with so many really really
wise women.....
i need to put down the fear......
oh yes.
that reminds me of a bone sigh....
the fear won't help you save what you have.
it will make you lose what you can become.
okay.
once again, she picks herself up and
dusts herself off......
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