I CAN FEEL IT!

so i mentioned this song in the post below.
i tried to find a youtube link to it and couldn't.
(i wanted to put it here if you were curious)
it's called 'my back door'....

and in it, she sings this part about her feelings
being gone. that she just can't feel them anymore.
and she sings out 'i can't feel it! i can't feel it!'

and my gosh........
i just so knew that feeling.

that 'where did it go??' feeling.

as i was relating to this and feeling that frightening
feeling of realizing it's gone.....

well............i realized that i had actually come
back to life.

there's so much sadness goin' on around me sometimes
that i don't know if i'm ever going to really come
back to life.

i worry about that.
that 'i can't feel it' feeling about some of the good
stuff i used to carry.....
i worry that i won't make it back.

and there i was hearin' this song, feelin' like i'd
explode thru the roof of my car....
and i realized.....
i AM back!!!!

i am back!
i am back!
i have been back!

i'm just a little bit different.
but i think that's part of the deal.
i was going to say permanent now...but noooo...
because that will change again too into
something else.........

and that is good and fine and the way it goes.

the big thing is.....
I CAN FEEL IT!