Wednesday, March 4, 2009

comfort in myself

had an interesting talk with a mom about the
struggles she watches between her son and his
dad recently.

i know the dad enough that i tried to offer some
insight about the dad's insecurities and how
he may feel threatened. that i just didn't think
he was really comfortable with certain things
about himself.

i told her that i doubted he would do any reflecting
on that, but maybe it would help her understand it
more and cope better.

i didn't really think too much about the talk.
left it behind me.

or so i thought.

as i walked and thought of my dad today, that
very conversation came up in my thoughts.

my dad struggled with me a lot.
and at my healthier moments, i know that was
my dad's deal.
at my weakest moments, i'm sure i'm just an
all around disappointment.

so i thought of that conversation.

the obvious part is connecting the dad's and
their being threatened and uncomfortable.

logically i know that.
mostly i get it.
sometimes i totally have it.
today i was strong enough to be fine with
that theory and believe it.

but here's where i went one step further than

the more comfortable *i* am with MYSELF, the less
i will fret and fuss and accept these false beliefs
i hold on to when i'm feelin' weak.

MY level of comfort of myself will change everything.

so along with awareness (see post below) i want to
work on my level of comfort with myself.

i KNOW that will make a big difference in my life.

not sure how to do that.
but i'm pretty sure it's key.

so comfort with myself is the goal today....
i'll see how i can toy with that a bit....

maybe something will come along today to show me

you just never know..........

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