expecting wonders....

i was standing up to leave.
hugging someone else goodbye,
turned to her to hug her and she
said 'i have a present for you.'

i smiled big.
and she opens the palm of her hand
into my palm and gently lays this big
ol' seed in my hand.

i don't know what this is a seed to...
but it's to something big.
and on it is a quote:
'i have great faith in a seed...i am
prepared to expect wonders.'
(henry david thoreau)

this thing takes up the whole palm of my
hand. it's slightly heart shaped, dark brown,
and the perfect thing to hold on to when you're
tryin' really hard to love yourself.

i've been taking it on my walks.
when i get to my goodmorningworld spot, i hold
it tight and tell myself that i love myself.

this telling yourself that you love yourself
is way hard. i can say the words. but they're
just words. it takes a lotta work to try to get
some kinda realness out of it all.

the seed helps.
i hold tight and keep tryin' til i can feel it.

this morning i turned back home and held the
seed the whole way.

i kept thinking that i have no idea what's
ahead for me. but i'm feelin' like it's an
important time for me..

i am prepared to expect wonders.