home again

i was really scared.
and it went good.
met some really cool people.
got to meet two online friends
in the flesh.
heard some really amazing stories.
got touched deeply more than once thru
the evening.
and was given a special gift by a really
beautiful woman.

it was an evening filled with love and caring.
and yeah, these events continue to scare me.

coming home tho, josh said he finally understood
me. he could never get the discomfort i get when
i go to do an art gig. he's the entertainer and
would love to do these things.

but last nite as we drove home in the dark he said
he saw it. he saw how comfortable and natural i
was when i was connecting with someone. he saw
me liking that and he saw me doing that thru the
evening. 'when you do that, you just shine, mom.'

and he saw how uncomfortable i was when i had to
'be' someone. when i had to meet an expectation.
'you totally change, mom, and you can see how
uncomfortable you are.'

when a woman came up to him and his brother and
told them that 'your mom isn't at all what she
expected.' he stopped her and asked her what it was
she was expecting.

he had heard me say over and over that i know
people come looking for something, and i'm not
usually whatever it is.

so he was curious.

i believe he got something like 'older, and more
haggard.'

grin.

well.....that one was an easy one to be okay about
not being.

so it's over, i stepped outta my comfort zone and
did it!
oh! and for the comment about putting it on the home page....
i put it in our newsletter...forgot the homepage, but have
done so in the past. so thanks for the nudge.

the next one is in a couple of weeks. but it's an
easy one. i'm not featured. i just show up and hang out.
i'm gettin' to be friends with the ladies who run the shop
and i'll just be there all evening as support for their
event. i'm gonna try real hard to conquer this shyness!

maybe one of these days.....