Wednesday, March 11, 2009

an up and down kinda day....

so the man called and asked how my day's
been goin'.

simple enough question.
doesn't he know by now?
don't ask....

i launched into the joys and frustrations
of the day so far.
the guys were in here workin' with me and
heard me.
i heard them laughing in the background.
the knowing son laugh of 'he shouldn't have
asked her!!'

i described my frustrations with motherhood,
my struggle with being a control freak and
allowing my son to do what was right for him
all the time wanting to wring his neck....

i described my happiness with humanity.
and then my despair with bringing
me to tears.
then i described the tears of joy that humanity
brought later...
and then how it dashed me yet again....

i breathed out this whole crazed monologue faster
than you can imagine....

and then i stopped.

he knew it was time for feedback.

we've been down the feedback road before.

there's a pause.
and then he says:
'well, hmmmmmm....certainly has been an up and down
kinda day, huh?!'

i burst out laughing.

it has........

and what more can you say than that?

he pointed out to me that i never even have to
leave the house to have these ups and downs....

and i smiled...

life is full.
and yeah....i like it that way.

motherhood makes me old on some days.
and keeps me young on others....
humanity brings me to my knees in gratitude,
and makes me want to kick its butt in

and all the while today....i kept looking at the

it's mine.
all of it.

it's mine.

and i wouldn't trade it for anything.......

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