the yin yang tree and me

i prolly shouldn't be reading this book...
the one on midlife that not only says i'm
not crazy, but she says i'm SUPPOSED to be
doin' all this wanderin, wonderin', and
searchin'....
she's eggin' me on big time.

i'm seein' a tiny glimmer here, a really
big flash there, a pull over this way...
stuff is happening to me...and i'm goin'
with it.

on my walk today i stopped right in mid stride
as i approached a tree that was wet on one
side, dry on the other. a yin yang tree.
i just stopped and looked at it.

thought 'that's me.'
the different parts right now.

the dark and the light.
the good and the bad.
the past and the now.
the memories and the dreams of the future.
the fear and the courage.
the whole deal.

thing i want to do is mix it better than
that tree trunk did.
that tree trunk was divided.
one side was this.
one side was that.

i want to be the whole big swirl of this and
that and have it a really good thing.

i think what i've done up til now is have this
really big swirl....but not had it such a good
thing.....incomplete, for sure...
more fighting the dark parts.
more hiding certain parts away.
more power to fear than love.
that kinda thing.....

this book is talkin' about gettin' in touch
with some of those parts we've repressed, tucked
away, hidden......
gettin' in touch with it all, and awakening
to who we really are.

so i walked and thought of all of that.
touched in on the 'butterfly woman' side of me.
want to touch in on her every day if i can....

had a wonderful visual of her with me as i walked.
it was so cool that i realized i was walkin'
down the road with a big smile on my face....

if anyone had any idea what was goin' on in my
mind, they woulda ran the other way....
but i don't know...i'm kinda thinking i have to
keep runnin' with it.

i'm feelin' something happening.......

and it's makin' me very excited.......