a sore foot

sore foot today.
sore enough not to walk.
no way am i missing my walk today.
i NEED it.
so i hobble out.
limping along as i go.

limp by the construction site.
they paved a little road down there.
i looked at it and the tears just
started runnin' down my face.
that used to be where i played with
the kids.

okay.
i definitely need this walk.
it doesn't take much to see the instability
inside.

i'm rubbin my face, holdin' the sides of
my head.

great.
great.
i'm in good shape this morning.

i'm looking either straight up at the sky
searching for help, or straight down at the
road tryin' not to hurt my foot on some slight
incline.

my mind races a mile a minute.

there's someone i left behind.
i left him behind because he twists up my
insides.

i had an encounter again and my insides
were twisted.

so i hobbled and thought of him.
then i realized what i was doin'.

and i switched gears.
and i started thinking of the good in
my life.

i stepped a little stronger.

i noticed the step. and i concentrated
a little harder.

i thought of my insides. and i concentrated
on love. i concentrated on good.

i looked at the trees and just about lost
it again being pulled back into yuck.
my eyes got a little big, i could feel the
internal struggle, and i searched the sky.

i held the good.
i had it.
it had me.

i let the yuck fade away.

my steps were strong. no hobble.
just the slightest ache.

okay.
i can handle that.
a slight ache.

and i walked faster.
stronger.
happier.

i bypassed my front door and
went to the flowers
in my yard.

i gathered one, two, three,
more and more and more. they were
the things in my life i was grateful
for.

i gathered an armful and brought them
in.

i put them in a vase and looked at
the yellow.

bright. warm. cheerful. so much yellow.
different kinds. different shades.
different shapes.

i sat down on the floor in front of them
and smelled them.

i closed my eyes.
let a tear run down my cheek.
and i thanked the universe for all that
i have.

there was still a slight ache in my
foot as i left the room.

but that's okay.
i can handle a slight ache.