i had a strange moment this weekend....
while i can easily do visualizations
as i walk to work with things going on
inside of me, i never have images just
pop in my mind at odd times.
and sure enough.
my eyes were closed, and i saw....
okay...i feel weird typin' it out......
i really do.....
but um.....i can't explain all this without
so all of a sudden an eye popped into my
view as my eyes were closed.
looking at me.
it wasn't scary freaky or icky....
it was just this eye staring straight at me.
it caught my total attention and i thought
woe.....what's that about and so i concentrated
to see if there was more there.
no other eye. just the one.
and it was there long enough for me to stare
back at it.
and then it was gone.
but it certainly made an impression.
i can still see it.
the thought of it popped into my mind
pretty soon after i saw the rope and the
boulder around my neck on my walk (see blog below)
and i thought of images and things i work with.
and then suddenly, i felt like all these parts
of me and symbols were combining somehow.
somehow i feel like there's a gathering.
like parts of myself are gathering.
there's all the ter's i work with. i could
see them. there's the river of strength i've
been feeling and working with, there's butterfly
woman, the box of snakes that i let go, the
empty box, the feeling of the snakes, there's
the rope with the boulder sitting there, and
there's an eye in the mix of it all....
i know i sound like an absolute weirdo lunatic....
but i honestly feel like it matters.
and i don't know why.
so i put it out here to record the journey.
and see if it comes up again and where it will
i want to fly.
i figured out that sentence is just another way
of saying i want to love.
it's the same thing to me.
i really really want to fly. for real.
and sometimes i feel like i'll never be able to
pull all the snakes off or put all the boulders
down....or change it all into other forms.
this morning i felt so strongly that this is up
to me. that i'm in this alone. that no one can
do this for me. and that me and all my parts
have a job to do.
and i honestly felt like preparing to fly....
was what i was sposed to be doing right now.