memorial day

we sat around on josh's back porch
yesterday. the guys and i were havin'
dinner, just the four of us.

it was real casual, just hangin' and
munchin' while josh grilled some burgers
on the grill his brothers had given him.

i had saved some stories for when we
were all together, so i threw some out
there. and then after one of them,
tellin' them of someone's reaction to
something, i asked, 'why do you think
there was such a reaction?'

and they started.
they started tryin' to figure it out.
zakk threw out a theory i never woulda
even thought of.

'ohhhh you might have a point there, zakk.
i never thought of that.'
then someone else threw one out that we all
nodded to and said yeah, maybe so....
there was a theory no one really bought,
even the presenter of it! and there was much
mullin' and piecin' together.

then i threw in a wrench to it all.
but what about this?

more figurin' out....

we were doin' one of my favorite games...
tryin' to figure out how people work.
and in doin' that, figurin' out how it is
we work.

i love that they'll do this with me.
i love that even zakk has gotten involved
and comin' up with great theories.
i love that they watch now and try to
understand people.
and i love that they then try to understand
themselves.

drivin' home zakk told me something about
himself that really surprised me. and
showed me how aware he was becoming.

i looked out my window as he drove and
thought about what an honor it is to watch
these young men grow.

and once again, i remembered the weekend.
memorial day....

i closed my eyes and thought of all the moms
who haven't had the time or space to watch
like i have....

it is those kid's parents i'm thinking
of today.....and all those kids.....

it's a special special holiday.
i find it a terribly sad one.....

my way of celebrating is appreciating
my sons as much as i can.

i have a lot to appreciate........