reunions....

we sat around the tables for hours
joking and laughing and remembering.

i would look at each one of them and
listen to what they were saying but
would get side tracked as they talked.

my mind would just stop and think
'wow, he's a grown man now.'

they're teenagers in my mind. guys
i grew up with.

not men with grown up lives.

but nope.
there they were.
men with grown up lives.
altho, i still caught glimpses of the teens.

i asked one of them if he felt the same.
he said no.
he felt completely different.

and ya know....i do and i don't.
so much of me is the same.
i can see the same temperament, the same
traits.

one remembered me as really self conscious.
i laughed.
that hasn't changed either.

but some of the stuff that really needed
growing....the belief in myself, the belief
in my value....
THAT stuff has changed. for the better.

it's like that stuff has blended with the
other.....
like i'm growin' the parts that i think should
be stronger.

and so i'm not really changing....i'm just kinda
growing in a different shape or something.

and i saw that sitting there with them.
and i liked it.

sitting there i saw a lifetime of where i'd
been....and i saw a lifetime of where i wanted
to go.

it was the coolest birthday present ever.