was thinking about control freaks on my walk.
i always say i'm one.....
but on the scale of them, i'm not so bad.
i just really really wish i could time
people's deaths, and take hurts away,
and make the world a better place.
yeah, that's prolly a control freak.
but not in the way where i need people
to do certain things and be certain things
and stuff like that.
i was watchin' someone recently who was
like that in an extreme way and i was thinking
about it this morning.
i got to thinking of all you miss when you
get in a mindset like that.
of how you can't see anymore because you
can't allow for things to be different than
you want them to be.
'seeing' has been a tremendously important
topic to me for the last 8 years of my life.
i write about it a lot and consider it key
in living an honest life.
and i just cannot figure why you'd want to
live anything but an honest life.
of course, it took me 40 years to figure that
out. but once i 'saw' it....i couldn't stop
once i understood honesty, it was all i wanted.
so in my mind, a life worth living has got to
be filled with seeing.
control is just another way of covering your
eyes. and when you get really way into the
control freak stuff, you've blinded yourself.
i would so like to talk to this person about
this thought....but ah, i can't. because it
would require him seeing that he's a control
hmmmmm......just doesn't seem to work that way.
so i'll talk to myself about it.
and remind myself that the more i let go and
allow the more i see and the more i live...
honesty. acceptance. allowing.
over and over those words repeat themselves
in my life....