holding the compassion

two interesting conversations with friends
yesterday. later i pulled them together and
thought about them....

there's someone in my life that i struggle
with.

sometimes i'm fine and accepting.
other times i feel a deep and profound dislike.

i have searched thru this awesome personality book
i have and found this person's personality.
there's a line in there something like- this
personality can bring even the strongest ceo to
their knees with their head games.
something like that.
and i loved that line.
cause i have been brought to my knees more than
once......and to read that helped.

what i'm not comfortable with is the level of
dislike i am carrying around.

i think it's fine to dislike someone.....
but when it hits the profound deep level, what's
goin' on?

i think when i go there, i've stepped out of the
trying to see and understand mode into protect
and even wallow mode.

because when i see and understand......i can feel
compassion.

and THAT is why i'm not comfortable with the level
of dislike i'm carryin' right now. i do not feel
compassion.

and, ms. ter, how can you be love without compassion?!

oh great, great, great.

i gotta put all that darn negative stuff down to
try to understand again?!!

jeesh.

negative is sooooo much easier.

but there's a goal to reach for......
and so today i will work on putting the negativity down.
and holding the compassion.