my brain is whirling this morning.
i'm watchin' the end of a friend's marriage...
and thinking how strange that whole path is.
there's so much effort in the beginning.
and then...there's so many tiny little deaths
along the way that they just seem to add up
to too much. and then it's too hard, too much
effort....or not worth the effort?
i don't know.
i just see it over and over and over again.
which brings me to 'discontentment'.....
i'm watching another friend who is 'discontented'
right now. and i can see how it's coloring his
whole world. and causing problems for him.
and so i turned my eyes to my own heart.
and definitely see discontentment in certain
places.
when i looked at my friend and his actions,
i thought how self centered discontentment
makes you.
and so i turned my eyes to my own heart again.
yeah.
i can be really self centered in my discontentment
areas too. self absorbed.
amazing how it stunts your vision.
ohhhhhh there's stuff to look at here.
so then it brings me all back to 'focus.'
where you focus. what you focus on. what you put
your energy towards.
which all brought me to a very short lived friendship
that passed thru my life. i was feelin' kinda bummed
that it was so short and gone already. has been bothering
me the last few days.
when i thought of this discontentment and focusing
stuff.
truly.
it truly all IS in how you look at it.
everyone i care about passes too quickly thru my life.
even if i get years and years and years with them.
it's too quick.
and yet......how lucky am i to have them come thru???
so all these thoughts whirled thru the blender of my mind.
and i whisked them together....and got this....
i've got so much.
i either concentrate on what i've got and keep workin'
at makin' it better, expanding my sight to see everyone
involved really clearly....
or i look at what i've lost and what i'm missing,
and focus smaller and smaller and lose the vision....
it's a no brainer, no?
and yet...it takes some muscle.
off to flex my muscle a bit....
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