payin' attention

i've been spending some time trying to
de-stress. was doin' okay, but not
great.

as i was driving yesterday i noticed a
feeling inside of me. i concentrated on
it a bit to see what it was.

all i could come up with to describe it
is 'a deep knowing.'

as i walked this morning i found that
feeling again.

i remembered the thought i had months
ago about when something can get thru
all my layers....when every part of me
can accept whatever it is or just be in
whatever it is.......that that's when
i touch something really good.

and that's what it feels like with this
deep knowing feeling.

there's no arguments inside, no pulls or
tugs....every part of me is okay with
that feeling. and wants to feel it.

i've noticed it come up twice now in two
days. and i think maybe it's because i've
been workin' hard on bein' aware and tryin
to relax a bit.

and i tell ya, there's no awareness of it
when i'm all stressed. it's totally ignored.

until my body starts screamin' at me to
pay attention.

my body's been screamin' lately.

thank goodness for that.

cause now i'm payin' attention.........