this guy...

i keep thinking of the guy who told me on
our high school tour that he tried to kill
himself twice in high school.

and how i never knew.

i knew him.
slightly.
was always friendly to him.
actually prolly was aware he struggled.
but no more than that.

he posted something on my facebook page about
bein' on the outside lookin' in.

i thought about the reunion.
and yeah, i get it....it's a REUNION, not
therapy.

just wondered what it would be like to sit
everyone in a room and hear some of the real
stories.

not what you do for a living.
not where you live now.

but how you struggled then and where you
went with your struggles.

i know.
i know.
therapy.
no one's gonna do it.

but i think it would be so fascinating.

how about the girl who was totally beautiful and
popular? how about some of the struggles from that
angle of life? that had to carry it's own weights
that the not so beautiful people don't know about.

the obvious misfit stories would carry many not
so obvious thoughts, i'm sure.

i seemed to float in the middle somewhere. fit in
enough to be fine, but felt like an outsider and
certainly never had enough confidence to step into
the with it crowd. how about those struggles? how
about finding your value? where did people find it
along the way? did they find it? do they care?

what makes a crowd with it? what traits did they
all have? how did the feel about that? how do they
feel now? did they value themselves?

what makes a person stop feeling like they're on
the outside looking in and what makes a person
finally get comfortable?

can you imagine hearing some of that from people
you remember as teens?

can you imagine taking some time to honor the pain
that some carried around among us that was so
intense they wanted to die and tried to make that
happen?

i think it would be incredible.
and no....i don't think it will ever happen.

but i do think there's a lotta healing to be done
yet in the world.....
and this guy keeps reminding me of that......