Monday, August 31, 2009

bathroom bonding

i get there and sign in.
i see someone signed in for the same
counselor for an appointment right after me.
there's only one other person sitting there.
oh man.
she's gonna wait while i'm in there??
what a drag for her.

i grab the bathroom key.
she sees me grab it, says she's gonna join me.

i don't know what it is, but i just feel
bonded when i go to the bathroom with someone.

so we head down the hallway.
you here early? i ask her. you seein' who i'm
seein'?

yep.

we chitter chatter about light stuff....
but then we meander into it all....

and she tells me that the counselor has helped
her so much. she lost her son and he's been
helpin' her thru it.

26 years old. gets in a fight...gets shot.

three days before christmas.

there we stood in the bathroom.
talkin' about it all.

we went back to the waiting room.
i started tellin' her the little bit i know
about people getting thru losing their kids.
and some of the stuff i've been told.

by the time i head into my appointment,
i so wish i could do something for her....

on my way out, i wished i had a bone sigh
for her. i laughed at myself. not everyone
in the world needs a bone sigh, ter.
doesn't matter....i'm gonna get one to her
anyway.

why?
why on earth do i believe these can help?

i don't think i really do.
it's not that i think she's gotta have a
bone sigh.
that's not it at all.

i think i believe that they're me.
and that by giving parts of me to people,
i'm touching them the only way i can.

and touching each other is what we have
to do.

i think it doesn't matter if it works each
time. i don't think it can. but i think
it's maybe the whole thing...the act of doin'
it....the act of doin' it over and over...
the act of reaching.....

i gotta reach.

maybe that's what it's all about.
reaching.

maybe.
i don't know.
i have to think on that..........

i made sure i got out of there on time.
wanted her to get every minute of her
session. i wished her well on my way out.
and i so meant it.

she told me of the lack of compassion her
boss showed her. i was stunned by the story.

how is it people get that way???
maybe they haven't been touched enough....

i don't know what it is....
but something she said haunted me....
that she's more and more convinced that
the world is a bad place....

i'm gonna send her a surprise package...
and tell her that maybe it's not that it's
a bad place...maybe it's a hard place....
that needs us to fill it with as much love
as we can.

maybe.

2 comments:

Carmen Rose said...

Amen!

Merry ME said...

I'm sure this lady's counseling appointment was good for her. But something tells me it was the bathroom bonding that she'll remember at the end of the day.

You are really very cool, Miss Ter.