a new book...

i am forever purchasing things because friends
are involved in their creations and i want to
support that. or i want to support their shops
and galleries.

i get my gifts for others that way now.
and i end up getting presents for myself this
way too! which is awesome as i never used to
give myself things. now i get presents and feel
like i've done good at the same time. that's
so fun!

i ordered a book recently just because an artist
friend did the cover. no other reason. and i
ordered it for me, as i hate to give books i
haven't read to someone else.

it came in the mail yesterday.

i read the little flap and i felt electricity
shoot thru me.

the book is called 'the power of a broken open
heart, life affirming wisdom from the dying.'
it's written by julie interrante.

on the flap she talks of life being a series
of transitions with the potential to break
open our hearts. in her list of transitions,
she includes the loss of a belief!

ohhhhh that's when the electricity went thru
me!

i've lost several big ones in the last few
years, and i have found that really difficult.

any help with holding that is always welcome.

she talks of the cycle of the seasons and
suggests we become aware of that cycle in all
of our transitions.

i like that a lot.

i immediately placed that concept in one area of
my life and felt some sort of sense of relief.

there's a buddhist concept that talks something
of using all the small day to day losses and
'deaths' to prepare for the final death.

i am forever fighting change. i kick and scream
and dig in my heels.

think i need to work on this a bit.
and i'm all psyched as it so totally relates
to the 'acceptance' stuff i'm workin' on
right now.

i love the flow of it all sometimes....