i've never met her in person.
just emails and a phone call once....
some real good interactions tho.
and i've grown to really care about her.
and she's dying.
she posted her health status in a note
she laid it out there and just told it
like it is.
i was running thru.
didn't want to just read it fast.
that seemed so wrong.
so i printed it out.
finished up at work, ran up to my room
to finish painting and thought of her the
when i was all done and it was totally
quiet, i sat down with what she had written.
i am so grateful to her for putting it out there
and just saying what's going on. it helps to know
how she's feeling and what's happening with her.
and it hurts.
i thought about dying.
we all have to do it.
i'm not ready.
i don't want to.
will i ever be?
what can i do to ease what she's feeling?
how can i help her?
how can i tell her that i'll carry her with
me for as long as i'm here??
how do you say that???
how do you tell someone you've never met that
they've touched your life in a gigantic way?
how do you ever know they really hear you and
understand how deeply you mean it??
how do we learn how to say goodbye?
i don't wan to be a person she has to help
i want to help her.
she doesn't need to take care of me...us....
she needs me....us...to take care of her.
and i honestly don't know how.
how do i say goodbye?