Saturday, October 31, 2009

don't even know what i'm doin'....but gonna try anyway...

and so she heads into the final round....
of what will be the start of a whole different
dark journey for her.

one dark journey will end, and another will

i sit helpless.

talk to her on the phone so lost on what to say.

ask what i can do to help.

'pray' is all she can come up with.

i'll pray.
and i'll cry.
and i'll worry.

and i'm gonna do something else this time......
i'm gonna spend some time trying to sit with
the dark and sad and difficult and honestly
try to know it's part of the cycle.

i'm gonna try not to do my usual habit of
fighting and kicking.

i'm gonna try turn a different way.

i don't know what it is, as i've never done
it before.

but i do think there's another way for me to
turn. for me to look inside and hold this.

and then........i think i can be there for her
in a better way.

that's what i'm gonna try to do.

never done it before.
don't know if i can....or even what it is.

but i know i love her enough to try.......

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