the power of their words...

i just read a friend's blog.

'body issues' would be the easy way to put it.
pain, self judgment, self doubt, insecurities,
past history, scars, aching....
all that more accurately describes it.

and i got it.
i so so so got it.

i think of some of the stories i hear from
girl friends. i think of some of my own.
and how yes, it is all up to us to believe in
ourselves...and know we are beautiful...
but AT THE SAME TIME......guys have such
power over us with what they say. they do.
and i wish i could burn that into every guy's
cells so they knew.

i've noticed that one anger i haven't yet chosen
to drop with my ex husband were his subtle ways
of telling me i wasn't thin enough.

i don't think i ever realized how much that ran
thru our relationship until i got in this
relationship now. the difference is astounding.

i think the difference between the two is that
in one relationship i was there to be who he
wanted me to be. in the second i am there to
become all i can be.

and that right there......that's the difference
between life sucking and life giving. seeing
beauty and being blind to beauty.

every single comment we make...
every single action we take....
is either life sucking or life giving. it's either
seeing or blind.

yes, as women, we need to know our own beauty.
and we need to find our own worth.
it cannot come from a man's words or thoughts.
it has to be our own.

at the same time, the men we surround ourselves
with have to be chosen with care. with such care.

and for those that just happen to be around us...
that we don't choose...
in the workplace or in the neighborhood....
well...maybe we need to stop and tell them that
what they say matters. cause from some of the comments
i've heard and heard about, i'm thinking they haven't
ever figured that out.

maybe sayin' that out loud face to face...
calmly, with grace, with knowing, with trust that they
are big enough to care and hear...well...
maybe that's helpful on many many levels.

i so wish men knew the power of their words.
maybe we gotta tell 'em......