she's got me thinking.....

she's big on gettin' the wording right, she said.
i heard her say that yesterday to me on the phone.
i forgot what it was about, but i know it helped.

this morning she clipped something i wrote to her
in an email and grabbed the word.

i wrote that i had been 'disillusioned' with love
stuff. (and no, i'm not talkin' romantic love...altho..
that's another story)

i mean the big ol' universal love.

she's quick.

she grabbed the word 'disillusioned' and asked if
it was that or disappointed?

hmmmmmm........she makes an incredible point.
they're two very different things....

disappointed.

she said she doesn't buy that i'm disillusioned
because of the way i live....

hmmmm..........

yeah.
yeah.
disappointed.
big time disappointed.

and then i think of her 'immediate gratification'
comment again.

i so like immediate gratification.
i so so so do.

but ya know what? you know better than i do..
it's not like that.
it's just not.

ya know, i feel like maybe i'm coming out of the
mid life crisis thing a bit...
coming more out onto the other side.

i feel like i went in a kid....and i'm comin' out
an adult...

i'm not totally out yet.
i think it'll be awhile.....

but i think i'm gaining some kinda outlook here
that's different than anything i had before.

she's got me thinking.....
and i'm likin' more and more of what i'm seein'.....