Monday, November 2, 2009

an interesting drive around the beltway....

i didn't plan it.
the forces aligned right and somehow this
incredible magic happened inside me.

i was driving.
listening to the first cut of the inner child
song my friends did. (as soon as it's available,
i'll holler!)

i didn't plan on any therapy or anything like
that as i drove....but i guess because of the
'moment' i had with bob the day before (see post
below) my inner child was right on the surface
of things....and when i got molested was right
there also.

i'm listening to this song. singing to my inner're shining, i can see you....
and my whole being gets filled with this feeling.

it wasn't just i was holding her.
or that she was holding me.
it was that we were so connected.

this sounds so weird.
OF COURSE we're connected. we're the same person.

i don't even know how to describe it.
but we were so connected.
and i went right back to where it all happened.
i didn't mean to.
i didn't plan it out.
we were just there all of a sudden.

and i looked at her and i sang.
and my eyes teared, and my heart swelled,
and every part of me was there for that
little girl.

i was there.
she was there.
it was the moment it all happened.

i didn't try to change it.
i didn't squirm at what happened.
i just stared at her and sang and this incredible
connection thing happened.

i was filled with this WHOLE feeling.
it was all okay. it was all okay. we had each other.
the other didn't matter.

let's go.
leave that behind.
it doesn't matter.

and i kept singing.
and i knew that nothing could penetrate this feeling
that i had. nothing could hurt us anymore. we had
each other.
and that was all that mattered.

it was the most awesome cool thing.
and i'm still feelin' it this morning.......

1 comment:

Merry ME said...

This is a true testament to women that healing can be done. One of my favorite sayings is by Sue Bender (I first saw it on the wall at my therapist's office! Coincidence? I think not.)
"Miracles come after a lot of hard work."

For what it's worth, I think that over the years even when you weren't thinking about this incident, you were processing it ... working on getting past it ... growing to a place where it no longer defines even a part of you.

The miracle is that, it happened when you least expected it. In the perfect timing of the Divine and alignment of planets and phase of the moon, you had your moment of triumph and that in itself is closure.

I'm so proud of you and of Little Terri for doing the work and sharing the end result. Three cheers for Bob and the boys who helped along the way.

Blessings and peace my friend. If anyone deserves them, it is you.