i didn't plan it.
the forces aligned right and somehow this
incredible magic happened inside me.
i was driving.
listening to the first cut of the inner child
song my friends did. (as soon as it's available,
i didn't plan on any therapy or anything like
that as i drove....but i guess because of the
'moment' i had with bob the day before (see post
below) my inner child was right on the surface
of things....and when i got molested was right
i'm listening to this song. singing to my inner
child......you're shining, i can see you....
and my whole being gets filled with this feeling.
it wasn't just i was holding her.
or that she was holding me.
it was that we were so connected.
this sounds so weird.
OF COURSE we're connected. we're the same person.
i don't even know how to describe it.
but we were so connected.
and i went right back to where it all happened.
i didn't mean to.
i didn't plan it out.
we were just there all of a sudden.
and i looked at her and i sang.
and my eyes teared, and my heart swelled,
and every part of me was there for that
i was there.
she was there.
it was the moment it all happened.
i didn't try to change it.
i didn't squirm at what happened.
i just stared at her and sang and this incredible
connection thing happened.
i was filled with this WHOLE feeling.
it was all okay. it was all okay. we had each other.
the other didn't matter.
leave that behind.
it doesn't matter.
and i kept singing.
and i knew that nothing could penetrate this feeling
that i had. nothing could hurt us anymore. we had
and that was all that mattered.
it was the most awesome cool thing.
and i'm still feelin' it this morning.......