Thursday, November 19, 2009

this little light of mine....(part two)

it was foggy out this morning.
i put the mail in my mail box, and turned to
take my walk. without even thinking i began
to sing out loud 'this little light of mine,
i'm gonna let it shine....'

i grinned. stupid song. perfect message.
and i sang it a few times.
perfect morning for it. foggy. that's what my life
seems like right now.

i gotta let my light shine, i thought.
i really really got to.
it's too foggy right now not to.

i walked, sang, and thought.

'that's it!' i thought.
'my gosh, that's it!'

i have been strugglin' for a week here tryin'
to figure out how to be there for people right now.
there's a lotta different people with a lotta different
sadness and everywhere i turn the way they need me isn't
my natural way.

i struggle. and i try to bury my light.

oh no.
oh no.

i can be there for them the way they need, and still
quietly shine my light.
still stay on the sidelines, holding up a candle...
even if all that means is that i keep an awareness of
light inside me.

and then the visualizations started.
i pictured some of the really hard times i've been
thru with people. i went back to myself in each picture,
and i placed a candle in my hands. one time, it was
too hard to even hold a candle up, so in my hand which
was hanging at my side, i hung a lantern in my fingers.

'you don't need to hold it up, girl. just keep it in
your fingers.'

it was like the floodgates opened.
i went to all kindsa dark places and just put light
on myself in some form.

'all i need to do is remember the light,' i thought.

and this feeling of sacredness started filling me.

nothing symbolizes sacred to me as much as light in
some form.

and then i thought of my beams of light......
and a whole new set of visuals came out....