rivers

i was kinda wishin' for it to be sleeting
as i set out on my walk. nah. not even raining.
but it sure was wet.

my neighborhood is a swamp.
the rivers were runnin' all thru it today.
and i decided i needed to be out with them so
i wandered a bit and checked them all out.

watched the water. thought of rivers.
thought of life.

a friend had reminded me to check in on little
terri, and so on my walk, i did. the moment
i did, tears came.

yeah, maybe a lot of my funk has to do with
my inner child. so i tuned in a bit. and it
felt good.

kinda felt myself fold into myself.
hard to describe, but way cool to experience.
i held her, she held me, and we folded into
one another.

my gosh, i needed that.

i held on to her as i kept thinking.

i thought of life and patty in south africa.
how does she take care of her inner child when
she goes thru all she goes thru.

she's sent updates the last few days.
heart wrenching updates.
we'll be posting them on the tough angels website
for those who want to follow her and what she's
up to.

she said she's ready to come home.

i bet she is.

and.....i bet she's not.

how do you hold just one of her stories?
how does she live thru them over and over?

how do we keep in tune with our inner child selves
when there's so much goin' on?

and the rivers kept runnin' by my feet.

i was passing my elderly neighbor's house.
haven't visited in a bit as i've had a cough.
had to visit by phone as i didn't want to cough
all over her.

if i don't visit this morning, i won't do it soon,
i thought.

as i walked up to her house wondering if it was too
early, she opened the door before i even got to it.

i smiled.
'come on in, sunshine!' she said.

i smiled again.
i didn't quite feel like sunshine....but okay.

we talked.
she hasn't been feelin' well.

i listened.

walking home i listened to the water runnin'
by in the ditch.

sometimes i don't know how to hold it all,
i thought.

so don't, i answered, as i hopped over the
ditch into my yard.

don't.

just open to it.
and let it flow thru you.

turning to close my door i looked back
at the gray, wet morning.

let it flow thru you, ter.
let it flow right on thru......