woe.

okay.

alotta really good things happened today.
and still i struggled with some stuff.
well....pphhhhhhhhllllllllllllll........
i'm done with that.

i'm gonna go wash away the struggle in a hot
hot shower and gonna soak in the gratitude.
so many good things today.....
a great order, celebrating and laughing with
josh, a surprise present in the mail from someone
i adore, and the final topper that threw me over
to the gratitude side of life....

i made a new friend.
well, she hasn't accepted yet.
grin.
i asked if she'd be my friend.
hopefully she will.

she mentioned this poem to me.
asked if i ever read it.

um.......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...........

and for anyone else who's missed it......
i had to share.....

it's called 'do not be ashamed' by wendell berry:

You will be walking some night in the comfortable dark of your yard
and suddenly a great light will shine round about you,
and behind you will be a wall you never saw before.
It will be clear to you suddenly that you were about to escape,
and that you are guilty:
you misread the complex instructions,
you are not a member,
you lost your card or never had one.
And you will know that they have been there all along,
their eyes on your letters and books,
their hands in your pockets,
their ears wired to your bed.
Though you have done nothing shameful,
they will want you to be ashamed.
They will want you to kneel and weep and
say you should have been like them.
And once you say you are ashamed,
reading the page they hold out to you,
then such light as you have made in your history
will leave you.
They will no longer need to pursue you.
You will pursue them, begging forgiveness.
They will not forgive you.
There is no power against them.
It is only candor that is aloof from them,
only an inward clarity,
unashamed, that they cannot reach.
Be ready.
When their light has picked you out
and their questions are asked,
say to them: "I am not ashamed."
A sure horizon will come around you.
The heron will begin his evening flight from the hilltop.