what a story...

i've been thinking a lot about something that's
been goin' on since yesterday. dani posted about it
in her blog which was making the point of the incredible
connections that are out there and how they really
do show us that there's more than meet the eye. i
so totally agree.

she gave me a pretty glowing description, which all i can
do is thank her for, and maybe blush a little.....
thanks, dani, for the incredible love you pass my way.

here's part of the story from my eyes.

dani is a shop owner i work with. one of the gems. one who's
out to do way more than run a shop. and she does way more than
run a shop.

carol's a customer who came thru dani's shop and liked my work.
apparently really liked it. so much so that she even commented
that she wanted to be buried with one in her hand when she dies.
(along with her pink fishing pole!)

she wrote me one day asking about a particular quote she liked.
i didn't have it in a print so suggested that she make one up
herself. apparently she didn't see herself as creative and the
idea was a new one for her. not sure if she ever did it or not.
kinda hope she did.

dani wrote the other morning that carol died unexpectedly.

wow.

i notice death.
i really do.
it makes me stop.
even when i don't really know the person.

it is such a huge reminder to treasure those around us. and i
get filled with wanting to honor people. but you know how it
is, you just don't know how to do that. i just feel so helpless
sometimes.

after i wrote her back, i wanted to do something. so i sat down
to make a bone sigh in her honor that maybe her friends would
like to have.

i was writing some stuff, but it wasn't quite what i wanted.
so i stopped and thought about it. thought about carol. wondered
where she was. wondered if she could know. wondered if she
could help.

trust me, i have no set beliefs on this stuff, and a whole lot
of wondering. but i asked her to be with me if she could. was
she there? i haven't a clue.

but i tried writing again. i wrote from the angle of a
friend really hurting and missing her and wondering what she
would say now. and then i wrote what i thought she might say.
as i did it, it felt right and it felt good.

it's funny, i can go to these places all alone and do things for
me, but when i have to offer them to others, i get really full
of self doubt. i started wondering if it would be good enough
or right, or would it totally miss what her friends needed.

but i knew i had to do it, cause i had to. so i did it. sent
it to the printer.
no color proof, no nothing, just hoping it comes out okay as
i want to send it up as quickly as i can. i mentioned it to dani
and she was completely encouraging.

and then....
today dani wrote one heck of a note about carol's best friend
coming into the store. dani's a writer that will grip your heart
and as i read her note, i just cried and cried and cried.
dani didn't know she was carol's best friend at first, but of
course, dani found out right away because she's right there for
people and with people.

the friend came in looking for a bone sigh because she was hurting so
much from her loss and she knew carol loved them so. dani gave
her one she was looking at and told her of the ones coming
called 'carol's light.' she sobbed. said how much carol would have
liked that.

okay. what a story, right? what a story.

i didn't know carol....but it sure sounds like the world lost a
special woman. and i grieve for her family and friends.
i am filled with that urgency i get at moments like this to
remember to treasure every moment, every person.

and on top of all that,i am on my knees in gratitude for all
the messages i feel i got thru this whole unfolding of events.

i have been struggling and trying and trusting, and feeling
better....

but today, today, i find myself on my knees.

when i watch this whole story unravel, i am so in agreement
with dani when she says there's more. and we are all so
connected.

i feel that i have been touched over and over the past
few days in different ways with the message to trust...
to follow my heart...to act in love...to keep going even
in the doubt.

i feel like i would have to be blind not to see these messages.

and they're not just my messages. they're for all of us.

and so i wanted to put this out there and tell you.

i haven't felt like this in years.
just that knowing...that feeling that's totally inside
that you just gotta keep believing cause that works and
that makes a difference and you will get answers and
you will see magic.

i am filled with it tonite like i haven't been filled in
years. and i am on my knees in gratitude.

and i am holding carol, a woman i just barely met, in my
heart so big time tonite.