Friday, April 30, 2010

death buddies....

sometimes i swear that i really am a
child of the universe, and i get hugs
all over the place....
like today.......

some waves of grief have been coming up
for me for someone i lost awhile ago.....
her birthday is in may and so is mine.
thinking about may birthdays
must be bringing it all up for me.
altho, i didn't know it.

this morning tho, i looked at her picture
and asked myself what was up with me.
why the tugs at my heart right now?

and then a few hours later, i found myself
on the phone with a customer.

we were chatting and she reminded me that
we had connected around the time that my
father died. she reminded me that she had
sent me a poem. and out of the blue, she
said 'i'll send it to you again.'

i told her i'd like that, and that i had some
grief comin' up right now so it was very
timely.

i told her a little bit about it, and she
related with one of her own losses. and
we chatted a bit.

i told her i didn't know why it was coming up
now...it had been awhile ago. and then i realized
her birthday was coming up.

i heard myself choke up on the phone.

my gosh.
this poor customer!
i apologized for cryin' on her shoulder and
she said she thought maybe we were connected with this
stuff.

'we're death buddies,' i joked.
'and that's not such a good thing!' i laughed.

and she said.........

that was really an okay thing.

and later......when she sent me the poem.....
she reminded me that all kindsa buddies were good.

how cool is that?
she was actually comfortable bein' a death buddy.

and....just talkin' to her made me realize what was
goin' on with me. and.....it really helps to know.
i don't know why.
but i guess i can figure my heart may very well be
tuggin' all month, and that's okay.
there's a reason.....and it's okay.

death buddies......angels.....children of the universe....
there's a whole lot to this world isn't there?

2 comments:

Merry ME said...

Having someone to lean on is a good thing. Death buddies isn't the greatest of names but the sentiment is perfect. We are sent the right people in our time of need and we are sent to other people in theirs. Round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows. When you stop being dizzy, open your arms and you will be in the right place.

dreamphemera said...

Every single time I end up wondering, "Why is this coming up for me right now?" I end up being able to look back and see a connection to another person that helped me and helped them.

I figure that God/the Universe/[Insert your higher power here] has it rigged that way so we don't stay stuck too long in feeling separate and alone.

I usually end those kinds of interactions with a "holy cow!" and a big "thanks!"

I am grateful that when you had to encounter that grief, someone met you on the shore. Hugs to you!