goals

there's been this drama that has been goin' on for
years and years and years on the edges of my life.

it used to be right smack in the middle of my life.
but that's cause i put it there.

after a whole lot of frustration, tears and gettin'
nowhere, i finally learned to put it out on the
edges. it wasn't mine to fix. it wasn't mine to live.

i just happen to be way involved with one of the big
members of the drama.

so i watch a lot.

this weekend the drama flared up a little.
and i didn't flare with it.

ahhhhhhh....can't even begin to say how good that feels.

he misread me at one point and thought it had.
i grinned.
oh no.
oh no.

you are mistaken.

i think it's sad.
heartbreakingly sad.
but it's not mine.
and i can't fix it.
and it's sucked too much life outta me.
my goal now is to just be there for you when you need it.
help you think of things in different angles.
and then let it go.

i sit here kinda stunned that i've made it to this point.

this weekend that point was tested.
i watched myself.
i stayed detached and tried to keep my eyes on the goal.

this feels like such a triumph for me.
now..........to take the lessons from this and carry it
all over the place.

i don't need anyone else's drama.
i really don't.

and if i can combine that idea with the idea below about
being authentically me in every situation.........
ohhhhhh i'd be so rockin'!

goals.
goals.
goals.

i'm likin' them..........