Saturday, April 17, 2010

thinking out loud....

okay, here's a rambly thought i haven't quite
figured out yet....but seems like it could be
worth pondering.....

bob said something about me that was
completely opposite of something my ex had
once said about me.

i heard both their voices ringin' in my head.
and the first thought i had was something like
'we create whatever we want for ourselves. how
we are is up to us. and we can create anything.'

okay. i like that.
i was kinda puttin' the entire thing on myself.
that i create my own reality.

but then i got to thinkin' a bit more about it.

it matters to me who else is involved.
it makes sense to me that these two people that
i feel very differently about said opposite
things about me.

i don't think either one of them really thinks
about how they fit into what it is they said.
they don't think of how they fit into the
equation.

but the OTHER person in the equation matters so
much.

if you're my girlfriend, and we've had lotsa
close conversations, when i meet you for tea,
it's gonna be natural and easy.

if you're someone i just met, it'll be entirely
different.

makes sense.
a no brainer.

but! i was wondering...........is part of really
being strong in yourself....really being present
in yourself.....however you want to word that...
is the ultimate of that NOT changing with whoever's
in the situation??

of being the same loving, open, trusting person
in all the situations.

of course, i get there's
times when you can't for your own safety...i'm not
talkin' about those. i'm talkin' about your everyday
situations. with people you like and you don't like.
people you love and you don't love.

and then that brings it all back to being up to you
to create your own reality.

the other people in the equation make a huge difference
to me.

and i'm thinking it would be really fun if they
didn't.

gonna go give that some thought......

7 comments:

Greenwoman said...

but! i was wondering...........is part of really
being strong in yourself....really being present
in yourself.....however you want to word that...
is the ultimate of that NOT changing with whoever's
in the situation??


I think the answer is yes.

And I think the answer is also to love. To accompany a person...to be present with yourself, Another and the All...

Merry ME said...

Ah, Greenwoman has said it all!

Seems like when you are loving yourself, knowing and being who you are in the world, then whether you are with someone you like/dislike, know/don't know you are still going to be YOU. How and what the other person perceives is his/her stuff. It's bound to shift some with each pair of eyes or with each heart.

Merry ME said...

Ah, Greenwoman has said it all!

Seems like when you are loving yourself, knowing and being who you are in the world, then whether you are with someone you like/dislike, know/don't know you are still going to be YOU. How and what the other person perceives is his/her stuff. It's bound to shift some with each pair of eyes or with each heart.

AkasaWolfSong said...

Ahhh Dear Heart...I think the answer may be that if we are living from moment to moment and tapping into our authentic self then who or what that is connecting to us is of them, as Mary has shared.

All else is that ego self-talk we all do...of course we care about others but! and here is the big part...we are responsible for self alone and nothing else...which then leaves the door for Love opening.


And so then you see, it is as you have stated...it is fun when we can leave all else out of the equation as that means we are coming from a true place of authenticity.

Does that make any sense to you?
Lol...

If we are truly at present with authentic self then we are connected to Source and Source to us...the same as for all others if they so choose.

Just my thoughts...
Blessings on the Gentle Winds Ter!
:)

Pamela Jones said...

Good comments! And I agree that we have to give other people their own "stuff" and try to see the world through our own.

On the other hand, when my own daughter attacked me (in an enclosed car) yesterday, with a tirade that began, "why do you always have to be NICE to everyone?" -- as though "NICE" really was a four-letter word -- I still get wounded in the moment.

Still striving!

Pot Luck Herbs said...

I don't know if I completely agree. I think yes to the part about the "you" won't change when you reach that strong place, no matter who you're around, but the other people will always affect the situation. I think sensitive, compassionate people have a hard time with this because they are always reaching out and trying to feel with the other person. I think when you get to that strong place you can recognize and adapt your words and actions to another's perceptions so as to express love and help in some way without becoming what the other person thinks you are. Lol..that's my theory..I'll let you know if I ever get there!

Camille Olivia ~ said...

boyhowdy! if this isn't a big, ol' can of worms, I don't know what is! All these comments are so right on...and my two cents is this: I believe that the more we come 'into our own' the less 'others' affect us. It is this strong sense of 'knowing'...that we ARE who we are...that diminishes what everyone else does/says/thinks about us. It isn't that they are 'less', it's just the knowing that the contrast (between us) is what gives texture to our lives.

I'm still workin' on it myself. There are certain people who can still really push those buttons. But I'm so much more aware of it now that I can usually 'catch it' before I REACT. It is a great leap for me. Having always been a reactionary (as opposed to an observer), I must take those few seconds to STOP and check my gut for the source of this irritation. Then I can stay in my 'calm' and either respond mindfully...or just walk away.

Funny. I've been on this 'subject' for the past month or so. Synchronicity?