thinking out loud....

okay, here's a rambly thought i haven't quite
figured out yet....but seems like it could be
worth pondering.....

bob said something about me that was
completely opposite of something my ex had
once said about me.

i heard both their voices ringin' in my head.
and the first thought i had was something like
'we create whatever we want for ourselves. how
we are is up to us. and we can create anything.'

okay. i like that.
i was kinda puttin' the entire thing on myself.
that i create my own reality.

but then i got to thinkin' a bit more about it.

it matters to me who else is involved.
it makes sense to me that these two people that
i feel very differently about said opposite
things about me.

i don't think either one of them really thinks
about how they fit into what it is they said.
they don't think of how they fit into the
equation.

but the OTHER person in the equation matters so
much.

if you're my girlfriend, and we've had lotsa
close conversations, when i meet you for tea,
it's gonna be natural and easy.

if you're someone i just met, it'll be entirely
different.

makes sense.
a no brainer.

but! i was wondering...........is part of really
being strong in yourself....really being present
in yourself.....however you want to word that...
is the ultimate of that NOT changing with whoever's
in the situation??

of being the same loving, open, trusting person
in all the situations.

of course, i get there's
times when you can't for your own safety...i'm not
talkin' about those. i'm talkin' about your everyday
situations. with people you like and you don't like.
people you love and you don't love.

and then that brings it all back to being up to you
to create your own reality.

the other people in the equation make a huge difference
to me.

and i'm thinking it would be really fun if they
didn't.

gonna go give that some thought......